


What It Seems

by bloodyhands_and_hollowstars



Category: Artemis Fowl - Eoin Colfer, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Artemis tries his best, But it's not very good, Crossover, Dragons, He just can't be ordinary, Investigations, Merpeople, Slytherins Being Slytherins, Triwizard Tournament, Undercover, etc. - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-11
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-07-22 22:13:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7455820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodyhands_and_hollowstars/pseuds/bloodyhands_and_hollowstars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a routine magical scan, the People stumble upon something shocking- the existence of magical humans, and schools built to teach them.</p>
<p>Good thing they have fourteen-year-old Artemis as an ally- bored and still posessing magic he stole in the time tunnel four months ago- to send into Hogwarts as the most conspicuous unofficial secret agent ever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Anomaly

**Author's Note:**

> This is a rewrite of a fic I started two years ago on fanfiction.net. I realized recently that I couldn't bring myself to continue it with the horrendous writing and gaping plot holes that existed throughout the first half of the story, and thus What It Seems 2.0 was born. 
> 
> This fic is set between the events of The Lost Colony and The Time Paradox, when Artemis is actually fourteen (though legally seventeen), and starts at the beginning of July, two months before the Hogwarts school year begins and Artemis turns fifteen (or eighteen). Harry, Hermione, and Ron are heading into their fourth year at Hogwarts. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Artemis was extremely glad to feel the slight vibration against his fingers from the fairy communicator he wore as a large, rather ostentatious ring on his hand- of course, any distraction or excuse would be welcome to the boy at the moment.

He was seated at the large table the Fowl family usually ate at for dinner. He'd been there for an hour and was growing frustrated by his parents' insistence that he remain at the table even after finishing his own meal in order to wait for Beckett to consent to eat the food (instead of the various worms and insects he was demanding). He had things to do, after all- equations to solve, computer systems to hack, papers to write, finances to examine. The juvenile mastermind had no time to sit through a tantrum while Myles muttered darkly about simple-toons from where he sat next to his rowdy twin. 

Artemis stood, tucked his chair back in next to the table, and pulled out his phone from his pocket (being careful not to turn the dark screen towards his parents), and indicated it with his hand in response to their questioning looks. Artemis Fowl Sr. nodded dismissively, while Angeline frowned slightly, but she soon returned her attention back to an attempt at enticing the rebellious Beckett with some of her own food. 

Artemis stepped out of the dining room and into the kitchen, where Butler was eating his own meal. Seeing Artemis shut the door firmly behind him and twist the fake ruby on the communicator into his palm, Butler set down his plate in favor of focusing his entire attention on the call Artemis was about to accept. 

"Yes?" the teenager answered calmly. 

"Mud Boy? What took you so long to answer?" A familiar voice demanded.

Artemis's shoulder's slumped just a fraction. "Foaly. I was expecting Holly."

"Don't worry, I'm here too," Holly said loudly in the background. "Can't let you two geniuses murder each other just yet- we might need you."

The corners of Artemis's lips quirked upwards slightly- the equivalent of a broad smile in any normal fourteen-year-old. 

"Hello, Captain Short. Holly," Artemis corrected himself. "What do you need?"

"That's a bit of a long story, Mud Boy," Foaly butted in. "You might want to head to your study and grab a computer. I have some files to send over."

Artemis nodded at Butler, who followed him out of the back door of the kitchen into the hallways and up a floor to his study. Artemis listened to Holly and Foaly talk (well, bicker) as he walked, inserting comments here and there, not particularly caring about the odd sight of him seemingly holding a pretend phone to his ear. He only diverted his attention from the conversation in order to punch in the keycode needed to unlock and enter his study. He immediately crossed the room to reach his large rolling black leather office chair (a shameless gift to himself), sat down, and flipped open his laptop. 

"I'm ready," he said into the communicator, drumming his long pianist's fingers on the desk while he waited for the files to appear on screen. He knew full well that Foaly had access to most of his devices; but to be fair, he had access to many of Foaly's.

"I'm going to go grab some food," Holly muttered into the communicator. "Going through this once with Foaly is more than enough for me and my blood pressure." Artemis chuckled softly, and said goodbye to the elf while Foaly tapped away on a keyboard in the background. 

After a few moments, a folder downloaded. Artemis opened it to find several image and video files. He enlarged the first image, mismatched eyes scanning every detail. It appeared to be a satellite image of the highlands of Scotland, but with a range of bright colors superimposed over the landscape in small, scattered shapes. None of the colored regions were particularly large, and most were shades of green, occasionally edging into yellow- green representing the weakest concentration of magic in an area, based on the key in the corner of the image.

"It's a magical energy scan," Foaly explained, his image appearing in the corner of Artemis's screen as a video feed. "Routine thing, just to check everywhere and make sure no funny business is going on. As you can see here, nothing suspicious or unnatural is happening. But then- click to the next one-"

Artemis did so, eyes widening slightly in surprise as a large, almost perfectly round circle appeared on the map. In bright red- the most intense concentration of magic possible.

"That's definitely suspicious and unnatural," he remarked, leaning closer. He was intrigued.

"Yes it is, Mud Boy!" Foaly whinnied. "That's why we immediately sent a Recon team to check it out."

Artemis obligingly clicked to the next file, this one a video clip shot from a Recon helmet cam. He tapped the 'play' icon and leaned close to the screen, watching it intently.

There was the edge of a dense, dark forest located at one edge of the helmet's field of vision, and a large loch in at the other edge. Between the two, although slightly closed to the edge of the loch, a large, crumbling castle stood. 

A small window in the corner of the footage from the helmet displayed the Recon officers' positions and the border of the startlingly large circle they were approaching from a distance.  
After the officers stood about seven yards away from the edge of the circle's border, they halted. Artemis noted a few of the readouts projected onto the helmet (and recorded on the camera) occasionally flickered or glitched now that they were this close. 

"Is the concentration of the magic affecting the helmets?" Artemis asked, frowning. The People's instruments should be designed to function effectively alongside the presence of magic- but possibly the intense concentration of magic within the strange circle was too strong. 

"It is, actually. I'll explain in a second," Foaly replied. Artemis was immediately even more concerned about this anomaly than he was before- Foaly never passed up an opportunity to explain something he knew more about than someone else, especially Artemis. 

Artemis focused intently on the screen. The officer pulled up a Gnommish menu display, and selected the option to put down a helmet filter that would scan and display magical energy signatures. As soon as the filter was activated, the area in front of the team lit up vibrant scarlet in a massive, solid dome of magic stretching from the edge of the forest to the edge of the loch. And where the crumbling castle surrounded by warning signs stood before-

"Fascinating," Artemis breathed, immediately pausing the video, eyes straining past the red coloring to pick out every detail he could of the fully intact castle he saw, and the various buildings scattered around it. 

He tore his eyes from the paused video to stare at Foaly's image in the corner of his screen, demanding further explanation with his eyes. Foaly coughed a little and grabbed a few random papers to direct his attention at to avoid the sharp look. 

"Ah, yes- so it appears that, erm, there are different sorts of magic. Which we had no idea about. And this is not fairy magic. That's why our equipment went a little screwy around the area- I'm willing to bet that any completely electrical technology- anything human- would stop working completely near this place."

Artemis was silent, but he leaned forward slightly further. 

"...And we can't get into this area. At all. There's some sort of magical barrier surrounding it that we can't penetrate. But we've kept surveillance running twenty-four/seven. Two weeks ago- the last week of June- an empty train arrived. It left shortly afterwards. Filled with- get this- human children. And based on our scans- they all had magic."


	2. Plans

"Let me summarize briefly," Artemis said, long fingers steepled together in a classic supervillain pose, his sharp eyes focused on Foaly and Holly's images on his laptop screen (Holly had returned to the same room as Foaly). 

"You've determined that there are humans with magic, of a different brand than that which fairies possess. You have also put most of the magical children under surveillance and have learned from this that they attend a magical school called, for some absurd reason, Hogwarts."

"Tell us something we don't know, Mud Boy," Holly sighed, spinning a digipen in her fingers, leaning back in Foaly's large chair while said centaur stood, occasionally stamping a hoof nervously. 

"I'm getting to that, Holly," Artemis replied. "The fairies are not sure how many humans have magic, where they are distributed, if there are more schools for these magic users, or the exact nature of their magic or their community in general. Their magic interferes with technology, even magic-infused technology, and no one's managed to get close to the school due to some sort of will-altering enchantment."

"Yes, we know what we don't know," Foaly said impatiently. 

"Hmm." The teen leaned back in his office chair and neatly folded his hands in his lap. "My answer is yes."

"Your ans- I haven't even asked you yet!" Foaly whinnied. He leaned forward, long face filling the video feed. 

"You didn't need to," Artemis smirked. "There is only one reason that would cause you to be allowed to share all this with me. You want me to go undercover."

"No- well, yeah, I suppose so." The centaur huffed. 

"I think this is a terrible idea, by the way," Holly's voice piped up from behind Foaly's face.

"Thank you for your faith in my abilities, Holly," Artemis remarked dryly. 

The elf's face squeezed itself into the frame next to Foaly's, brow furrowed and her own mismatched eyes meeting Artemis'. 

"You've never done anything like this alone," she pointed out. "You've always had Butler, or me, or Mulch, or multiple people backing you up. I know that no one can best that big brain of yours, but in case you haven't noticed, anything physical is a bit of a dealbreaker."

"She's right, Artemis," Butler rumbled from his position behind his principal's shoulder. 

Artemis waved a hand in the air dismissively. "How physically demanding can attending school be? And surely there's some way we can have Butler on the grounds at the very least."

"You seem rather eager to do this, Mud Boy," Foaly said suspiciously, squinting at the boy. "This isn't going to be a paid job, in case you were hoping for some more fairy gold."

Artemis directed a withering look at the centaur. "I am extremely bored, extremely curious, and frankly? I could use a break from my family. Not to mention the unique opportunity I am faced with- how often is one able to learn about an entirely new culture from the inside, especially one possessing an entirely new brand of magic?" 

"I still don't think it's a good idea," Holly said again, her eyes narrowed and mouth set into a familiar stubborn quirk. She and Foaly had both stepped back from the camera, so Artemis could see her folded arms and Foaly thoughtfully scratching his paunch with one hand. 

Artemis turned to his bodyguard as Butler began speaking. "I don't like it either, Artemis. There's no guarantee of your safety in this school or around these magic users, and it's unlikely I'll be able to accompany you closely enough to be able to react in time if something goes wrong."

"Good point, old friend." Artemis fell silent for a moment. "It's not as if we haven't been separated before."

Butler gave him a look that clearly communicated the fact that Artemis had almost died on most of those occasions. 

"Fine, yes," Artemis said, waving a hand in the air. "But it's a risk that I'm willing to take. If children are being educated at this school, it's unlikely to be too dangerous. And who knows? They may be more lenient on the personal bodyguard front than St. Bartleby's."

"I doubt it," Butler said, but didn't try to change Artemis' mind again. He didn't like this idea, but he could see that Artemis was determined- and his principal had a will nearly as unbendable as his own.

Artemis returned his attention to Foaly and Holly, the latter of which was still looking disgruntled and the former of which had turned his attention to sending all of the files available to Artemis's computer. Artemis watched them arrive one by one in the corner of his screen.

"There is one pertinent issue we must address," Artemis remarked. 

"Just one?" Foaly asked skeptically, fingers tapping rapidly at a digital keyboard. 

Artemis ignored the centaur. "Magic."

The clicking of keys slowed, and then stopped. "Ah," the centaur said. "That."

Holly stiffened slightly, and Artemis almost didn't notice, but his focus was entirely on the small figure as she leaned forward, eyes narrowing. 

"You still have some magic left, don't you?" the elf asked, more as a statement than a question. "Even though you said you didn't."

Artemis couldn't meet Holly's eyes, even through the video feed.

"I didn't want to put you in the position of choosing between loyalties to me or to the Council. You and I both know that they would do something about my possession of magic, and it would most likely be unpleasant and involve forcibly removing it from my mind." Artemis trailed off, glancing down at his hands. "I didn't want you to have to make a decision whether or not to inform them, and I didn't think that a situation like this would arise. I just wanted to exist as I am now." 

The teen dared to look at Holly again, and saw that while she still stood with folded arms, her eyes had softened marginally. 

Foaly looked back and forth from boy to elf a few times, then clapped his hands together loudly. 

"Well! Now that that's out in the open, I can consult the Wing Commander and the Council about this. Well, consult further. Now that it's a viable plan and they'll take it seriously."

Artemis raised a single eyebrow. "I wouldn't say viable quite yet. I only possess a small amount of magic- enough for healing and mesmer, no more. I can refresh it with the same ritual as the fairy people do, but I don't believe it's enough to masquerade as a magical human of the sort that attends these schools. Even if I had all of the abilities of a typical fairy, the skillset is perhaps too limited still."

"Hmmm," Foaly said, fingers tapping erratically on his desk as he thought. "I suppose we could bring No1 into this, maybe get him to expand your magic and teach you a few tricks? I'll have to beg the Council, but they're more afraid of lots of unknown humans with magic than you, so I bet they'll come around."

Holly snorted. "Good luck with that."

Artemis smiled tentatively. "Well, I should go check in with Mother and Father. Send over any more files you may have and I'll review them later. Contact me when any developments occur." He paused. "Goodbye Foaly, Holly. It was good to talk to you."

Before either of them could make a remark on his sudden sentimentality, Artemis closed the video feed and leaned back in his chair, sighing.

"Well," Butler said succinctly. "This is interesting." 

"Interesting indeed, old friend. And I suspect that this is only the beginning."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much to everyone who read, bookmarked, and left kudos and/or comments on the first chapter!  
> I hope you continue to enjoy the story.  
> Any ideas, things you want to see in the future, or even pointing out of my mistakes and plot holes are welcome!


	3. Magic Mud Boy

"It's been two weeks," Artemis said as Foaly's face appeared on his laptop screen. The centaur sputtered indignantly. 

"Do you know the paperwork I've had to fill out in those two weeks? The surveillance we've had to monitor and the data we've had to collect? The old files and books we've had to dig through?"

"Yes, I know, I've been monitoring all of your findings," Artemis smirked. 

Foaly looked like he was resisting the temptation to slam his head against the nearest flat surface. Artemis smiled benignly. 

"So tell me, Mud Boy, what illegal knowledge do you possess?" Foaly sighed. 

Artemis began ticking off points on his slim fingers. "A minority of humans once possessed magic, and some humans today still possess the latent ability to possess magic if an outside trigger introduces it to their systems. Luckily for us, it seems I've had enough exposure to magic that my body hasn't rejected the fairy magic I... borrowed, and so it is likely more magic may be added to my mind without damage and my magic will develop further. Also, from three weeks of continuous surveillance on many of the students, you've learned a few details of the secret magical community and concerning the infrastructure of the rather unfortunately named Hogwarts."

Foaly leaned back, arms folded across his slight paunch. "Do go on."

"Hogwarts seems to be modeled after many private schools in Britain, with different years and houses. The subjects all seem to be magic-based." Artemis sighed. "You know all this. I'm assuming you have a meticulous plan laid out?"

"You bet your stolen fairy gold we do," muttered Foaly, tapping a few keys on his digiscreen. A folder of files soon appeared in the corner of Artemis' screen, which he promptly opened, scanning the titles of the folders and documents within: HOGWARTS, COMMUNITY, GOVERNMENT, MAGIC, RESTRICTIONS AND REGULATIONS, 'OPERATION TERRIBLE IDEA'. 

"Did Holly name this last one?" Artemis asked. 

"What gave it away?" 

\-----------

"I still-"

"Yes, you still think this is a bad idea," Artemis said before Holly could finish. She scowled at him. 

Artemis was currently strapped into a rather torture-device-resembling chair in a small room inside of the biggest hospital in Haven as mediwarlocks bustled around him, tightening straps and applying electrodes to his wrists and temples. The teenager was making a valiant effort to appear comfortable, and Butler even more so as he sat in a ridiculously undersized room about to watch a potent blend of magic being forced into his principal's head. 

No1 sat opposite Artemis, in a far more cushy-looking office chair, idly swiveling back and forth by vigorously kicking his squat legs in the air, as they were too short to actually reach the ground. He was probably the most relaxed one in the room, despite having been assigned the responsibility of forcing said potent blend of magic into a human's skull without accidentally liquefying his brain. 

"Are you sure about this, Artemis?" Butler rumbled from his perch atop a tiny fairy stool, face shadowed. 

"I'm sure, old friend," Artemis replied. Holly scrutinized his face and saw that he was indeed calm, not just faking it as he could do so effectively. She sighed and stepped back to stand by Butler, folding her arms in an unintentional miniature double of the giant man. 

As the last medic made sure that the straps were secure and then retreated to the edge of the room, No1 hopped down from his chair and rubbed his palms together, grinning brightly at Artemis. 

"Alright!" the imp said, coming to a stop just in front of Artemis and stepping onto the stepstool placed there so that his large orange eyes were level with Artemis' mismatched ones. "They let me aboveground so I could suss out- isn't that a fantastic phrase- anyways, so I could get an idea of the nature of the magic these humans have. I'll be emulating that magic as well as fortifying and blending it with fairy magic. Qwan said it might just work!" 

"Might?" Artemis echoed. 

"Don't worry, you're in safe hands!" The little demon giggled, flashing his seven-fingered hands at the teenager, who looked for a second as if his iron resolve might weaken. Then he sighed and nodded as well as he could, with a strap around his forehead. 

"Well, I'm ready as I'll ever be." 

No1 flexed his fingers and widened his stance, eyes and runes beginning to glow softly. He reached out his grey arms and placed his fingers lightly on Artemis' temples, staring intently into the boy's eyes. The spiraling rune on his forehead was spinning now, glowing brightly. Flickering currents of magic began to run down his arms, multicolored snakes made of lightning and sparks that flowed from his stubby fingers into Artemis' skull. 

Artemis' eyes rolled back into his head, the whites the same shade as his pale skin, and he began to thrash, the straps keeping him restrained enough so that No1 could continue the process. Holly had to place a restraining hand on Butler's forearm to stop him from leaping forward to help Artemis, although she hated seeing Artemis shaking like a leaf with the energy coursing through him. 

At last, No1 dropped his arms, the flow of magic ceasing. Artemis stilled. 

Holly glanced over at the screens displaying Artemis' vitals, relieved to see that, as far as she could tell, everything seemed normal. Butler was already up and moving towards Artemis, hunched over to avoid the ceiling, and Holly followed in his wake. 

As they reached him, Artemis stirred and his eyes blinked open, glowing faintly for a few heartbeats before they faded back to normal. Mediwarlocks, careful to keep their distance from Butler, soon had him unbuckled, and he raised a hand to rub at his temples, grimacing. 

"How does it feel?" Holly asked, trying to keep the anxious note out of her voice. 

"Strange..." Artemis said, frowning. It was oddly disconcerting to see the mastermind at a loss for words. 

"Well, let's see it!" No1 said suddenly, before Artemis could say more. Artemis leaned forward in his chair, raising a hand in front of him. 

"I'm not sure what I should do," Artemis admitted. 

"Try shielding," No1 suggested. "Healing is automatic, so there shouldn't be any problems there. And then I'll help you figure out the human parts!" 

Artemis smiled weakly before concentrating. After a long few seconds, he flickered in and out of view for a moment. No1 applauded politely, but Artemis' eyes narrowed at the short span of time. He clenched his fists and disappeared, managing to hold the shield for almost thirty seconds before reappearing, looking vaguely ill. 

"I don't think it's supposed to feel so... jarring," Artemis said, frowning. "Maybe human bodies aren't designed to accommodate the stress of vibrating at such a high rate."

Holly forced a smile and reminded herself not to yell too loudly at the Mud Boy for being an idiot while he was still adjusting to his new magic.


	4. Stranger at the Door

It had been two days since Artemis had become a fully fledged magical being, and Butler had been hovering over him like a belligerent mother hen the entire time, intently watchful for any signs of ill side effects.

"I feel fine, really," Artemis insisted for the hundredth time as he and Butler retired to his study after a meal. "I've been feeling quite well, to tell the truth. Having magic is... refreshing. Energizing."

Butler merely grunted, unimpressed. He raised an eyebrow as Artemis summoned forth a few blue sparks and rolled them over his fingers. The boy had been practicing with his newfound power as often as Butler would allow him to, with remote instruction from both Holly and No1. He still couldn't shield for very long without beginning to feel ill, almost surely a side effect of his human biology. He hadn't had any opportunities to practice healing, but he had tried out the mesmer on Beckett and Myles to convince them to abandon their attempts to break into his study for the day- to great effect, although he felt oddly guilty afterwards. Artemis studied the blue sparks dancing over his palm thoughtfully, leaning back in his chair.

A chair which the boy promptly fell out of when he was startled by multiple proximity alarms suddenly coming alive at once in a chaotic mix of noise and lights. When he made to get up from the floor, Butler placed a gentle but firm hand on his shoulder to keep him below the shelter of the desk. Artemis sighed and settled for peering over the edge of the desk at the bank of computer screens, all displaying security camera feeds of the manor and the land surrounding it.

There was a woman waiting at the front doors.

"How did she get in here?" Butler muttered, tapping at the keys as quickly as he could with his massive fingers. The footage of the area before the front doors began to rewind in slow-motion, and he and Artemis watched as the woman simply disappeared. Butler paused the footage and played it forward again. Before their eyes, the woman simply appeared out of thin air.

Artemis grinned triumphantly, his smile containing the hint of vampire that had been used to great effect on businessmen and child psychologists alike many times in the past.

"She must be an emissary from the school, Butler. We really should go and say hello."

The teen hauled himself ungracefully to his feet, straightening his suit. Butler sighed and very pointedly grabbed an extra gun before stepping out of the study first so he could be in front of Artemis.

"Lead the way, old friend!" Artemis said, almost gleeful, as he and Butler descended the staircase to the main hall. Butler tried to ignore the creeping feeling of dread that he always got when Artemis discovered a new scheme that excited him. Most of the times, these schemes ended up with their near-deaths and often narrowly avoided the end of the world as well.

Butler opened the front door slowly, making sure that his own body entirely blocked Artemis', who huffed quietly but said nothing.

"This is the Fowl residence, correct?" The woman asked, her keen eyes scanning Butler critically. She had silver hair pulled back tightly and spectacles that she managed to look over while tilting her head up to properly see Butler.

"Correct," Butler rumbled. "And you are?"

"Professor Minerva McGonagall. May I come in? I have come to speak with you on a matter of some importance."

"Let her in, old friend, it's only polite," Artemis put in from behind Butler, who reluctantly moved aside, while fixing Artemis with a stern 'we'll talk later about the proper procedure that you continue to ignore which has been put into place solely to protect you' look. Artemis smiled benignly up at him for a moment before switching his attention to the woman.

"I am Artemis Fowl II, Professor McGonagall," Artemis introduced himself, holding out his hand to shake. "May I ask your purpose in this visit? I don't believe you are from my school, St. Bartleby's."

"No, I am not," McGonagall replied, shaking Artemis' hand briskly and firmly and seeming decidedly unimpressed by the huge, opulent, almost-castle she was standing in. "However, I am from a school. It's rather specialized, and we have taken an interest in you and your abilities."

Artemis raised a single eyebrow. "Most schools would send a letter, or possibly an email."

McGonagall nodded. "Be that as it may, the school I'm representing is... unique. Perhaps we should sit?"

"Of course," Artemis replied, projecting a look of suitable curiosity and confusion onto his face as he led the way into the nearest sitting room and settled himself into a leather armchair. McGonagall sat opposite him, while Butler came to rest hovering behind one side of Artemis' chair. She cleared her throat, and then addressed Butler.

"Are you a parent or guardian?"

Without hesitating, Butler responded. "Guardian."

Artemis tried not to smirk. Technically, it was not, in fact, a lie. Butler guarded him. It wasn't as if he could have his parents here for the "your son has magic" talk- after he'd been supplied with said magic, a little mesmer and a suggestion of a trip to the Smithsonian for the twins had been all that was needed to ensure that there would be no unfortunate contact between his family and the magical world for the time being.

"So tell me, Professor, what school do you hail from? And what exactly makes it so... unique?" Artemis asked, distracting her attention from Butler- as much as one could be distracted from the enormous, vaguely menacing man who still stood behind Artemis' chair, arms folded.

"I teach at a school called Hogwarts. It's for those with- special abilities." She pulled a cream-colored envelope from seemingly thin air and handed it to Artemis, who studied the large wax seal intently before carefully opening the envelope.

_HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY_

_Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore_   
_(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock,_   
_Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)_

_Dear Mr. Fowl-_

"Witchcraft and wizardry?" Artemis asked with an incredulous tone before he read further, reminding himself to keep up the pretense of naivety.

"Yes. I know it might sound strange or impossible, but magic is very real," McGonagall said, sounding like it was something she'd repeated many times to skeptical children. She drew a- stick?- from her robes and showed it to Artemis. And then she pointed it at the metal poker set next to the fireplace and said something that sounded rather like Latin.

And then the pokers began to float upwards in the air.

"Remarkable," Artemis said softly, not feigning most of his wonder and curiosity. To think, an entire community of magical humans had been right under his nose all this time!

"You're taking this rather well," McGonagall remarked, carefully returning the pokers to their proper place and stowing the wooden wand back in her pocket.

Artemis shrugged. "We Irish have always been a bit more... superstitious than most. And I've been noticing a few strange things lately."

She raised an eyebrow, but seemed to accept the explanation for now, deciding to continue her speech.

"Magical children that come from wizarding families are simply sent a letter indicating their acceptance into Hogwarts, but an emissary from the school comes to the homes of those who come from Muggle- non-magical- families to explain things. And although we first detected your magic two days ago, I'm only here now because there were... other factors to consider in your case."

Artemis leaned his chin on his hand. "Oh?"

"Wizarding children are born magical, and their names added to a list until they turn eleven, at which time a letter is sent from Hogwarts to invite them to attend the school. However, it seems that your magic only developed... well, two days ago. This is very unusual, and we have been in deep discussion with the Ministry of Magic for the past two days about you," McGonagall explained, eyeing Artemis sternly.

Artemis arranged his face into a suitable expression of surprise, curiosity, and mild confusion.

"That is truly odd. What did you and this... Ministry decide?"

"If you wish, you shall attend Hogwarts. We'll allow some time for studying before testing your magical aptitude and determining which grade to place you in. And in lieu of Ministry officials investigating the matter of your newly developed magic, teachers from the school will be looking into the matter."

"Looking into?" Artemis repeated, deliberately injecting a note of nervousness into his voice. _Just a scared teenager. Nothing suspicious here._

"Nothing to worry about, Mr. Fowl. We'll just be looking for any differences in your magical abilities from the typical student, asking a few questions about recent... events in your life, and so on."

Artemis didn't miss her pause as she realized that asking questions about his recent life might not be very pleasant, considering the fact that he had been missing from this world for three years. With any luck, he could deflect excess suspicion by extracting sympathy for some fictional ordeal he'd concoct to explain those three years.

After a brief moment of silence, the professor continued. "You will, of course, have time to think over your decision. I will return here the day after tomorrow at eleven o' clock to receive your reply. If you wish to attend Hogwarts, I will escort you and your family on a trip to purchase the necessary school supplies."

Artemis nodded. "That sounds like a reasonable plan. Thank you, Professor."

McGonagall stood. "Well, I am sure you have a lot to consider. I shall see you in two days, Mr. Fowl."

She shook his hand, then Butler's, and then vanished from the room with a loud crack.

Butler privately reflected that it probably wasn't a good thing that he and Artemis were so accustomed to people disappearing in front of them that neither of them so much as blinked.

Artemis was smiling triumphantly down at the envelope he held, a familiar spark in his eyes.

"We, as the movies like to say, are in," the teenager said to Butler.

Butler raised an eyebrow at Artemis, who was reveling in his victory as he scanned the other papers contained within the envelope.

"You're forgetting something, Artemis."

"Oh?" The boy said absently, barely glancing up. Then he paused, stopped reading, and placed the papers gingerly on the coffee table "...Oh. Yes. My family."


	5. Preparation

Fortunately, the rest of the Fowl family was not due to return from New York until the day after McGonagall had set their next meeting, which also gave Artemis time to create a fictional boarding school in Scotland for him to convince his parents to let him attend.

Creating a website and online profiles for the illustrious staff members was simple enough, but Artemis had to recruit a few contacts to use as false faculty if his parents wished to actually speak to someone from the school in person.

Artemis also had to notify the LEP of the professor's visit and the information she had revealed. The Council reluctantly agreed that he could proceed with the plan that McGonagall had laid out, and Foaly had, much more enthusiastically, proposed that Artemis try out some of the tech the centaur had been working on to determine whether or not it would function properly in a magical environment.

The night before McGonagall was set to arrive, Holly barreled in headfirst through the open window of Artemis' study and seemed vaguely disappointed when she unshielded, presumably from her failure to make either Artemis or Butler flinch.

Holly thunked down a satchel full of what sounded like rather fragile devices onto the expensive, polished wood of Artemis' favorite desk, and then promptly hopped up to sit beside the bag on the table, swinging her legs idly and grinning widely at the two humans, who both favored her with small but genuine smiles in return.

"Lots of goodies for you Mud Men, " Holly said. "Foaly said to tell you that you're not allowed to break any of it with your... what was it? 'Enormous, grubby Mud Man fingers'."

Artemis rolled his eyes as he opened up the bag, his fingers -very far from "enormous and grubby", he thought- nimbly sorting through the contents.

As he began pulling devices out and laying them on the desk, Holly ticked off the various items on her fingers.

"Iris cams- there's a whole set in there, half hazel and half blue. Be careful to keep your current colors, because we definitely don't want McGonawhatever or anybody else to notice your eye color changing. Oh, and there's a pack of mics and earpieces. All of them are incognito- skin-colored, small as possible, you know the drill. There are some trackers too, keep one of those on you at all times. That, Foaly is especially excited about- it's a phone that should not only function in the presence of magic, but use magic as a power source. You should be able to use it to contact both the LEP and your family- it will show up as the same number as your current phone. Those last ones were my idea- tasers. Never know when a good taser might come in handy."

She and Butler shared a distinctly shark-like grin.

 

* * *

 

At precisely eleven o' clock the next morning, McGonagall once again appeared out of thin air on the landing before the massive front doors of Fowl Manor. This time, Butler and Artemis (and the LEP, through Artemis' dual iris cams) were watching, and they saw that the professor simply seemed to twist into being out of thin air with a loud cracking sound that distorted slightly over the speakers of the security cameras monitoring the entryway.

Artemis and Butler were already halfway down the stairs when she knocked, and when they reached the doors Artemis made a last check to ensure his tailored suit was immaculate before opening the door with the most welcoming smile he could muster.

"Please come in, Professor."

She did so, seeming just as unimpressed with the Manor's splendor and the odd duo of teenager and enormous bodyguard as she had two days previously.

"Good morning, Master Fowl," she said crisply. "Have you and your family-" here her eyes flicked to Butler, the only adult in sight, "-come to a decision regarding your attendance at Hogwarts?"

"We have," Artemis replied. "I shall be attending your school, Professor."

"Excellent," she said briskly. "I'll escort you and whichever family members wish to travel with you to Diagon Alley, a location hidden in the middle of London where you may buy all of the school supplies you require."

"It will just be the two of us," Artemis replied promptly. "May I ask what method of travel we're using?"

"Floo powder," McGonagall replied, producing a small bottle of emerald green powder from her robes. "It's a way to travel through magically linked fireplaces without harm. Muggle fireplaces are not linked to the network, but for today yours has been by the Ministry of Magic for our purposes. Other common methods of magical travel include flying broomsticks, which require practice and the cover of night, as well as portkeys and apparition, both of which are rather unpleasant experiences, especially for first-timers."

"Fireplaces?" Artemis repeated, while tucking away the other information into his mind.

"It's perfectly harmless," she said dismissively. "You simply throw a pinch of powder into the fire, step in, and say your destination. You must, however, be sure to speak loudly and clearly, or you could end up in the wrong location."

Artemis and Butler exchanged wary looks, but Artemis shrugged his slim shoulders slightly and turned to McGonagall.

"There's a large fireplace in one of the main sitting rooms. It's just this way," he said, leading the way down the front hall until they reached the correct room.

McGonagall drew her wand from her robes and promptly lit a roaring fire in the enormous stone fireplace set into the opposite wall. Artemis winced a little at the heat from the dancing flames, imagining stepping into the blaze.

The professor turned just before she reached the fireplace to address Artemis and Butler again.

"I will go first, so you can see how to properly behave and so someone will be waiting at our destination for you. Our destination is "The Leaky Caldron", a magical pub and inn that serves as the entrance to Diagon Alley. Again, be sure to clearly enunciate the words."

She opened the small vial of powder, took a pinch in her fingers, and handed the vial to Butler before throwing the powder in her fingers into the fire, which immediately became brilliantly green in color.

Without an ounce of hesitation, McGonagall stepped into the fire, stooping to get her head and pointy hat under the top of the stone alcove. The fire didn't seem to affect her at all. In a strong, clear voice, she cried "THE LEAKY CAULDRON!" and promptly disappeared, the flames fading back into their usual orange shades.

Butler and Artemis exchanged glances and small shrugs. Butler stepped forward next- of course he'd want to canvass the location before Artemis arrived, and be the one to light on fire if the Floo powder didn't work quite as promised.

"Good luck," Artemis told Butler, as the man tipped some powder into his hand (his fingers were far too large to reach into the vial successfully) before handing the bottle to Artemis. "I shall see you there."

Butler nodded, obviously tense. Of course he was- this was a bodyguard's worst nightmare, traipsing blindly into an unknown location with unknown magical forces through literal fire.

Nevertheless, Butler tossed the sparkling powder into the fireplace and, bent almost double to squeeze his frame into the enormous stone cavern, rumbled out "The Leaky Cauldron."

Just like McGonagall, he vanished into the emerald flames.

"Wonderful," Artemis muttered dryly. "My turn for immolation."

"Shut up and get in the fireplace, Mud Boy," came a horsey voice from his ear, and Artemis jumped. He'd completely forgotten that the LEP was watching his every move through his iris cams, listening through the mic on his throat, and, of course, able to give feedback through the tiny comm in his ear.

To hide his embarrassment, Artemis squared his slight shoulders and marched straight for the fireplace, only pausing to fling a large pinch of Floo powder into the flames and waiting for them to turn green before stepping in, tensed for heat and pain. Instead, the flames felt pleasantly warm to the touch, and slightly ticklish. Artemis took a moment to marvel at the magical feat before he cleared his throat.

"The Leaky Cauldron!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the wait and for the short chapter- the next chapter was originally going to be part of this one, but I decided to split them up. The next chapter, if all goes well, should be up fairly soon. 
> 
> Thank you everyone who has commented, bookmarked, and left kudos! You guys keep me writing, however slow it might be. 
> 
> Any shops you want Artemis to visit in Diagon Alley? What kind of pet should he buy? Let me know what you want to see in the next chapter!


	6. Shopping Trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diagon Alley!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I'm so sorry for the wait! It is an extra-long chapter, at least. 
> 
> This upcoming week is my final week of school, so with any luck summer should bring more frequent updates for all you wonderfully patient readers! 
> 
> Thank you so much everyone who has enjoyed this story, and thank you for your lovely comments! They make my day every time I get to read a new one.

An unfamiliar fireplace spat Artemis out to sprawl ungracefully on the stone floor of a large room that buzzed with chatter. A familiar hand gently seized his shoulders and pulled him effortlessly to his feet.

"Thank you, old friend," Artemis said, dusting off and straightening his suit before glancing curiously around the room, careful to keep his head and eye movements as steady and slow as possible without being conspicuous for the LEP observing through his iris cams.

The pub was charming in a quaint way, he supposed, but what was far more interesting was the variety of customers seated throughout the room and the small evidences of magic present- a mop swabbing the stone floor completely independently of any visible hands, patrons reheating their cups of coffee or tea with their wands, books on tables with titles like "JINXES AND COUNTERJINXES- AN A TO Z ENCYLOPEDIA" and "GNOME INFESTATIONS FOR DUMMIES".

A few inhabitants of the room had turned at their entrance, but after nodding or saying hello to McGonagall and eyeing the odd duo accompanying her, most turned right back to their food or drink.

"Glad to see both of you arrived safely," McGonagall said briskly, before leading them through the maze of tables to the back door, pausing to greet the barkeep, a man she called Tom.

They exited the pub and emerged into a tiny back area facing a tall brick wall. Even though there were only three of them, they barely fit in the area due to Butler's enormous bulk. McGonagall, at the front of the group, drew her wand and carefully tapped a few bricks. There was a grinding noise, and Butler subtly took a few small steps in front of Artemis in case the wall decided to collapse inward on them.

Instead, the bricks began to shift, and continued impossibly rearranging themselves until there was a wide archway in front of them. McGonagall swept through it, and after a moment Artemis and Butler followed.

A crowded cobblestone street stretched before them, either side lined with colorful shops, their windows and sidewalk displays bursting with bizarre objects- cauldrons, broomsticks, long robes, strange books, and candies and toys of every shape and color.

The academic in Artemis itched to make detailed notes of everything they passed as they followed McGonagall down the busy street, but her quick, purposeful stride left little time for dawdling.

She finally slowed in front of a grand marble building that towered above the rest, with a proud inscription reading GRINGOTTS carved above the entrance. Artemis, an accomplished architect in his own right, admired the building as they ascended the wide stairs and entered an enormous hall filled with- some kind of odd fairy? They were short, squat beings, reminiscent of the dwarves and gnomes Artemis was familiar with due to his time with the People, but they had black eyes, sharp teeth, and long fingers that he'd never observed before.

"Goblins," McGonagall informed he and Butler in a hushed tone. "They run Gringotts. This is the preeminent wizarding bank in the whole of Britain, and one of the most secure places on Earth."

Artemis, ever the thief, immediately began to fantasize about the possibility of breaking in. Butler knew him all too well and leaned down to whisper in the teenager's ear.

"Maybe one day, but not now."

Artemis nodded slightly and pulled his focus back to surveying every possible inch of his surroundings for the LEP to record.

McGonagall approached a nearby goblin, who set down a long feathered quill to peer over his spectacles at the group.

"We're here to open an account," McGonagall explained. "It's for a muggle-born boy enrolling in Hogwarts. He'll need conversion of funds from a bank account to wizarding currency."

The goblin nodded and hopped down from his desk. He returned with a large ledger, which he flipped open until he found the page he was looking for. He flipped the book around and slid it over to Artemis, along with the long quill. The page was surprisingly close to a typical legal document, saturated with ink and fine text with gaps for signatures and filling out financial and personal details.

Artemis glanced dubiously at the quill, but gamely dipped the tip into the inkwell the goblin slowly pushed across the desk to the teen, his black eyes unreadable, and began to fill out the boxes, being careful to read the fine text printed across the page for any potential pitfalls. It seemed like a simple enough form that would somehow allow him to link his bank account (one of many) to Gringotts and open a new account (or, as they termed it, a vault) where wizarding currency could be obtained. In fact, the form was blessedly less unnecessarily complex than many typical legal and banking documents found in the nonmagical world. Artemis was a practiced hand at filling out contracts, with false and true information alike, and he had soon filled all of the required spaces on the document, casually listing out zero after zero on the line that asked for the amount of Euros he wished to transfer to his new Gringotts accout. He placed the quill on the open book face and slid the whole thing back to the goblin, who'd been sitting eerily still, surveying Artemis with a vague, hostile sort of interest.

The goblin carefully inspected the page, nodded, and tapped the center of the paper with a single finger. The parchment promptly went blank, and then suddenly the center of the book spat out a large metal key. Artemis internally congratulated himself on not jumping when the object spontaneously appeared.

"Follow me," the goblin rasped, hopping down from his chair and opening up a small gate for them to pass through and venture deeper into the bank.

Following an incredibly fast-paced ride on a rickety mine cart of sorts- Artemis pretended he wasn't clutching the sides for dear life the entire time- they disembarked in a long stone hallway along the tracks that had large round doors set into the walls at regular intervals. Artemis keenly watched the entire process that unlocking the vault- his vault- required, his thieves' eyes picking out all of the necessary details that breaking in to a vault like his would require.

The thick vault door swung open ponderously on silent, hidden hinges. Inside, a dim, empty room awaited. Their goblin escort stepped into the room and muttered a string of phrases under his breath.

There was a small clink of metal on stone as a round golden coin appeared in the center of the room-  
"A galleon," whispered McGonagall- and soon there was another, and another, until there was a miniature thunderstorm of raining coins, galleons, sickles, and knuts alike (McGonagall educated Butler and Artemis as each appeared), filling the center of the room.

As the coins kept piling up, McGonagall's eyebrows rose further and further up her forehead. Butler glanced at Artemis, who shrugged sheepishly. He'd decided to deposit an excess of funds into the account, just in case.

At long last the stream of coins from thin air ceased. Wordlessly, McGonagall waved her wand to conjure an overlarge pouch, which she handed to Buther. He filled it with coins with one scoop of his enormous hands before stashing it away inside his jacket.

When the trio stepped back out into the sunlight and noise of Diagon Alley, McGonagall produced a sheaf of parchment from her robes and handed it to Artemis, who unfolded the papers to find a list.

**_First-year students will require:_ **

**_Uniform_ **  
_Three Sets of Plain Work Robes (Black)_  
_One Plain Pointed Hat (Black) for day wear_  
_One Pair of Protective Gloves (dragon hide or similar)_  
_One Winter Cloak (Black, silver fastenings)_  
_Please note that all student's clothes should carry name-tags at all times._

**_Books_ **  
_The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 1 by Miranda Goshawk_  
_A History of Magic by Bathilda Bagshot_  
_Magical Theory by Adalbert Waffling_  
_A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration by Emeric Switch_  
_One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi by Phyllida Spore_  
_Magical Drafts and Potions by Arsenius Jigger_  
_Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by Newt Scamander_  
_The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection by Quentin Trimble_

**_Other Equipment_ **  
_1 Wand_  
_1 Cauldron (pewter, standard size 2)_  
_1 set of glass or crystal phials_  
_1 telescope_  
_1 set of brass scales_  
_Students may also bring an Owl, a Cat or a Toad._

_PARENTS ARE REMINDED THAT FIRST YEARS ARE NOT ALLOWED THEIR OWN BROOMSTICKS._

"This is the basic supply list for all students entering Hogwarts. Of course, due to your unique circumstances you may end up joining a grade somewhere above first years. We will test your knowledge and abilities just before the school year begins in order to give you as much time to prepare as possible- approximately three weeks, by my reckoning. If you require additional books after that point, we will furnish you with the require materials until such time as you are able to travel to Diagon Alley to make the purchases yourself."

Artemis nodded, already planning to purchase as many useful books as he and Butler could possibly carry in order to research the wizarding world in greater detail.

Before he could become too absorbed in thoughts of school supplies, McGonagall continued to speak.

"If it is agreeable with your family, the headmaster of Hogwarts, Albus Dumbledore, has proposed that you might stay at the school for the week prior to its official opening in order to have an environment in which you can safely practice your magic under the supervision of teachers, as well as having access to the library for studying. You can then easily take placement exams before the school year begins as well."

Artemis glanced up at Butler in the pretense of asking for an adult's permission. Butler conveyed quite clearly with a tiny frown his concerns about convincing the Fowls to let Artemis go to a strange boarding school in the space of two weeks. Artemis gave him a small smile and shrug that indicated his confidence that one less week to plan and cajole would be manageable. Butler nodded, deciding to trust the teenager's judgment, and turned to the patiently waiting McGonagall.

"That would be acceptable," he said simply, and she nodded briskly before starting off once more, leading them to the door of the nearest shop, Potage's, which seemed to be selling an impressive array of honest-to-god cauldrons. Artemis was tempted by the enormous shiny gold one, but an obnoxious snort of laughter in his ear from the observing Foaly convinced him to decide upon a plainer model.

Next was a shop selling equipment straight out of an alchemists' wildest dreams- glass vials and tubes, scales, measuring instruments, and curious obscurities of every shape, size and color, where Artemis found a pair of dragon-hide gloves of high enough quality to satisfy him. Then came a store with a ceiling decorated with a starry night that had clouds and comets moving across it as if it was the real sky, where Artemis couldn't resist a handsome silver telescope that expanded to incredible proportions from its original pocket-sized dimensions. He purchased thick rolls of smooth white parchment, a few narrow black quills, and some bottle of high-quality ink at Scribbulus Writing Instruments, and then picked up a newspaper called The Daily Prophet from outside of what seemed to be its main office.

Artemis made sure to crane his neck and peer into the interiors of as many ships as possible as McGonagall led them to their next locale, taking in as many details as he could for the LEP watching via iris cam. All too soon for Artemis' curious eyes, they arrived at Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions.

Artemis was an old hand at being measured for suits, and so he was an easy customer for Madam Malkin, who, although she seemed surprised to be fitting a strange teenager for Hogwarts robes almost a month before the school year started, refrained from being very forward with questioning him while she scurried about, pinning and measuring. When she was done, she promised that his robes would be done in half an hour, and so McGonagall thanked her and embarked on their trek once more, resuming her practice of explaining various sights to Artemis and Butler along the way.

Artemis' eyes lit up when they entered Flourish and Blotts, the shop's shelves stuffed with impossible volumes of books of every size, age, and subject matter. Here was his true sphere of influence- knowledge and information. He pulled title after title off the shelf, filling the large cauldron that Butler toted with books far beyond those listed as required for Hogwarts- he focused especially on tomes regarding magical history and culture as well as encyclopedia-esque volumes detailing spells, potions, and creatures, though he decided to err on the side of more rather than less and purchased whatever seemed promising. They left the shop, books almost spilling out of the top of the cauldron, having spent an alarming amount of golden galleons. McGonagall, at the very least, seemed faintly approving of Artemis's avid pursuit of learning, despite her incredulous looks at the huge quantity of tomes he'd purchased.

Back out on the street, McGonagall paused and gestured towards two shops on the opposite side of the street, separate by a few establishments between them. The signs read "Eeylops Owl Emporium" and "The Magical Menagerie".

"You are allowed a pet, as specified in the supply list I gave you," McGonagall informed him.

Artemis frowned. The only animals he'd ever really gotten along with were the Fowl Arabians, and even then he'd been nipped or stepped on a few times- and there was the mess and the smell, of course. But he'd promised the LEP that he'd see as much as possible, so he'd have to visit these shops too.

Eeylop's Owl Emporium was loud and crowded, with owls of every color and size gazing at the newcomers with large, inscrutable eyes. Truthfully, Artemis was a bit nervous that one would attack him at any moment, and they soon left the shop. Artemis would have considered purchasing an owl as an alternate communication method (apparently wizards used owls to carry letters and packages) in case Foaly's phone failed, but they were simply far too conspicuous.

They exited the shop and moved on to The Magical Menagerie, wherein an extraordinary range of rats, snakes, cats, birds, and other strange creatures resided. Artemis bent down to get a closer look at a cage full of sleek black rats when a loud, rather unpleasant noise like sandpaper on wet rock caught his attention. He straightened and turned to find the source of the sound. A large raven with glossy blue-black feathers and bright, intelligent eyes sidled back and forth on a hanging perch behind him. It tilted its head and opened its beak, but this time it made a sound exactly like a cat's meow.

"Smartest bird you'll ever see," the proprietor of the shop said, walking over to Artemis. "He can mimic anything, understands everything you say to him, and has quite the knack for finding lost coins. He also works as a great lie detector- not for his master, of course, for everyone else though. Oh, and he can carry letters, just like an owl."

Artemis looked back at the raven, who cooed softly at him, staring intently with its intelligent dark eyes.

He'd never had a pet before.

 

* * *

 

After a brief argument with McGonagall about how it made little sense for owls to be allowed at school but not a raven and how its uniqueness wouldn't matter anyways because he was already a bit conspicuous due to his late magical development, as well as a few dubious looks from Butler, Artemis emerged triumphant from the Magical Menagerie carrying a rather heavy birdcage with an even heavier raven perched inside. He wasn't sure how long it would take for him to give up and give it to Butler to carry, but he was determined to at least try to carry it himself.

Madam Malkin gave the raven an interested look when they returned to her store to pick up Artemis' robes, but she was used to the wizarding world and all of its strange and interesting elements and soon lost interest. Artemis was slightly disappointed despite himself in her lack of attentiveness. When Butler noticed his charge's dismay, he smirked, leaned down, and whispered a comment about Artemis' flair for the dramatic, which rather offended the boy but he found he couldn't think of a decent counterargument.

"Last but certainly not least," McGonagall declared as they emerged onto the street once more and began walking, "We will visit Ollivanders, which is where you will purchase a wand. Wands are the instrument through which wizards and witches channel and shape their magic, and without one it is virtually impossible to accomplish any sort of specific and intentional magical act. A wand is the most important possession any wizard or witch will every possess, and it is important to purchase one from an experienced and skilled wandmaker such as Ollivander."

Ollivander's shop was a bit dingy-looking and unimpressive, so Artemis had doubts as they pushed open the creaky door and entered the cramped, musty shop. The room was filled with tall shelves stuffed with thin, long boxes.

A spindly, elderly man emerged from the back of the shop, his pale eyes wide and somewhat unsettling. He peered at the unlikely trio (plus raven) in front of him for a few long, silent moments.

"Ah, Artemis Fowl II, yes?" he finally said. Artemis blinked in surprise, but slowly nodded in confirmation. Ollivander made a small "ah" sound and nodded to himself before turning around and making his way down the narrow aisle between two shelves, running his fingers along the ends of wand boxes and murmuring softly to himself. In its cage, the raven shifted and made a noise like the creak the shop door's hinges had made when it opened.

Ollivander returned to them after picking out an armful of boxes to carry back. He laid them out carefully on the surface of a nearby desk and handed the first to Artemis, who set down the raven's cage on the desk to open the box and withdraw the wand inside.

"Elm wood and phoenix feather core," Ollivander provided. "Give it a swish, see how it feels."

Feeling rather ridiculous, Artemis obliged. The wand emitted a small black curl of smoke with a soft wheeze.

"Definitely not," Ollivander said, snatching the wand and its box back before handing another to Artemis.

A procession of different wands and different unsatisfactory responses followed, with Artemis growing more and more impatient with the seemingly fruitless procedure. The only thing that stopped him from growing frustrated enough to give up was the thought that the LEP watching through his iris cam would be bored out of their minds.

"Pine wood with a dragon heartstring core, 12 inches," Ollivander said, giving Artemis yet another box. He had become more and more enthusiastic throughout the long process in stark contrast to his audience, and his pale eyes shone with avid interest as Artemis tiredly removed this new wand from its box and held it up.

When Artemis gave the wand a halfhearted flick, bright blue sparks erupted from its tip. He jumped in surprise, and Ollivander smiled excitedly.

"That's the one!"


End file.
